Aug. 10th, 2009

dinnerateight: (Default)
You know it wasn't so very long ago I was freshly thinking about dating. I felt on the verge of major changes.
The move has sabatoged all of that motivation. I no longer feel liking making an effort. I feel run down and tired. I feel like my bed has been made and I'm in it.

Maybe I'm still smelling the fresh paint fumes. I feel dizzy in this house. I didn't even notice until my mom came over and abruptly left saying the fumes were getting to her. This morning, I realized, the fumes are getting to me too. I've felt disorientated and dazed ever since we've moved in.

All I'm saying is that I want to make enough money to buy my own little place and I give up on socializing. I want just enough money and space to afford two more dachshunds. My life will be complete. Even my future with my children seems iffy anymore. I want Aaron to go off to film school and I want Maryann to figure out what will make her happy. I'm realizing though they won't be around forever. Then what?

I think I could handle being by myself.
dinnerateight: (Default)
Maryann is asking my mom to buy her a cell phone.

Would it be right if she had a decent phone and I had a $20 phone. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of her having a decent phone and me a cheapy. And she's been so bad.

On the other hand, the other girls have them and they text each other at school. The "I don't want my daughter to be the only one without something nice... keeping up with the Jones' daughter" part of me has me  kind of hoping mom buys her one. Besides remember the IPOD?

Mom had talked about adding her to her plan.  I'm adding minutes on a $15 card every Dennis' pay day.


I don't know about this.

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dinnerateight

January 2010

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