Jul. 5th, 2009

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This is my daughter. I wanted to write about something too personal for Facebook. My daughter for the past year has had many very negative comments made to her by other girls about her weight. I don't understand it. For one, she is not even that thin. She's thin, but not in any extreme way. She has hips (which she's proud of) and a little bustline going. Generally around the house she is happy with her appearance. On a side note I try to warn her, see, I was her size when I was her age. She needs to continue to take good care of herself. At camp this summer the girls got together and told her that she looks like she is anorexic. One girl asked her if she's starving herself. She's had comments more simple where her friends will just simply say "you are too skinny" while in general conversation. Last year she got some remarks but they were from the black girls in her class. I told her that black girls in general develop faster. I meant it in a general way and I tried to keep it all tied with puberty.  Now she is asking me what I think about her weight which is annoying. It is annoying because I think she's at a perfect weight. She is NOT overly skinny, and she doesn't have any weight issues so why should we be having to worry about it??
They got a health fitness evaluation from school which told us that she had almost perfect score in all areas. BMI, muscle mass, everything she got a perfect score. If she were underweight the report would have addressed it. She is naturally active and eats a diet that I could benefit from. Other than sweets she is VERY picky about what she will eat. She never has had soda. She doesn't want it and never has. Aaron does it wasn't me and my diligent parenting. Though, I admit I have stopped buying it from around the house but I let him have them when we go out places. She eats things like collard greens just because years ago I told her they were healthy. I didn't like greens when I was young. Anyway, Maryann has always been really picky, no dairy, no soda, nothing greasy. She thinks like an athlete which makes me feel sad and regretful that I never could afford to keep her in some kind of sport. She liked track this  year and won the coach's award but track really is only about six weeks long in the school year. She's going to charter school this year that doesn't even have athletic teams though I was told she could go to another school just to participate in track. We'll see.

All I'm saying is if she walked up to another girl, let's say her friend that has made constant remarks on her weight and she said to that girl, you need to lose some weight, I think you are too big, that would be thoughtless and rude. Why not give Maryann the same benefit of the doubt. I don't like saying to her, they are just jealous. Because I don't know I don't like my children thinking like that. It is very defensive and sometimes not even true. I think people say to themselves that other people are jealous to console themselves. I just want her to have a healthy attitude about herself. Right now their bodies are mostly hereditary, and how they take care of themselves in their adult lives will be the big question. She even had a boy tell her he preferred big girls and I asked her how it even came up in conversation. I think kids are projecting their own insecurities on her. I'm in a weird position because right now I am 180 pounds and I am 5'2. I'm trying to change that and I'm even emulating her and her guardianship of what she will put in her body. Last night, she told me she wanted to be my health coach. We had been taking pictures of ourselves, and I told her all my pictures looked horrible because of my weight. She turned to me and said let me be your health coach.

She has many areas to improve on as we all do but I love how diligent she is in taking care of herself.  That is a good trait and not a bad one. I hope the kids eventually leave her alone, I'll be pissed if they make her feel bad about herself where as up until now she has had a healthy attitude.

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dinnerateight

January 2010

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